Over the years I was one of those people who tried to have a Relationship with everyone. You know what I talking about? I wanted to spend time with them, be there for them, help them out when they needed help, and lift them up when they were down. This didn’t last long.

When you try to have a Relationship with everyone, you end up not having a Relationship with anyone. Does this make sense?

Just like me, people tend to think that they can have thousands of Relationships in their lives. They really can’t, I promise. I capitalized Relationships, because I am talking about the ones that are real, genuine, and like a chain. Not the ones where you see the person every once in awhile – these are not Relationships, they are either friends or acquaintances.

I believe we can have up to 5-7 real Relationships in our lives at any one time. When it starts to exceed this number, things start to get crazy. When I say crazy, I mean that you are not able to be there for them when they really need you. Real, genuine, and chain like Relationships are those that call you to drop everything and be there for that person.

A growing Relationship can only become stronger by being genuinely connected like a chain.

You have to be disciplined and intentional about this, because if you are anything like me, you will want to have a Relationship and be there for everyone – this not healthy for you or them. Trust me.

Recently, I went as far as building a document that I update each week. I titled it “Relationships”. Inside the document I listed 5-7 current Relationships in my life. Under each Relationship inside the doc, I write down things about this person; what is going on in their lives, how I can pray for them, how I can encourage them, and how I can just be there for them.

Each week I take out the document and send messages to the people on the list. I love doing this because it makes me feel that I am intentionally building a few very good Relationships in my life. Like I said, you have to be intentional about this if you want it to work.

The last thing I did was build a envisioned future and a purpose statement for the Relationships in my life.

Here they are:

Envisioned Future:

I have a few very close relationships in my life where we pour into each other weekly and sometimes daily. We love each other, we believe in each other, and we are their to sharpen one another.

Purpose Statement:

To be intentional about developing  a few good Relationships with people who seek good things, love Jesus, love their wives, love their kids and families, and love others.

I am very thankful for the Relationships in my life and I am glad that I went from trying to have a Relationship with everyone, to having a few very good and genuine chain like Relationships in my life.


What about you?

Do you try to have lots of Relationships in your life, or just a few very close and genuine?


  • Coreyloxen

    Who are your 6 closest relationships? How do they inspire you? How would they say you inspire them? I guess if Jesus can have an inner circle of 12, 3 & 1 (in the 12 disciples, the 3 closest friends in Peter, James and John and then John the beloved whome he was closest with since the bible says that he was disciple Jesus loved) then we might be able to handle half as many huh? Anyways, solid article! I think we all should build these same 3 circles into our own lives just like Jesus did.

    • Corey, my 6 closest relationships are men whom I have come to know along my journey. Some a business owners, some pastors, and some still trying to figure it out. We inspire each other by being there to support, encourage, and motivate one another to be our best. I feel God has brought each and everyone of them into my life.

      I love your example of Jesus! Jesus is a great example in anything! I agree, we should all build these 3 circles in our lives. God bless you.

  • Coreyloxen

    Btw, I like how clean, crisp and colorful your site is. Who put this bad boy together? Let me guess.

    • Thank you Corey for the kind comments. I worked with a company called Visual Hero. They are an awesome company!