Let’s just say my week started out real bad. Doors were being closed, I was getting angry emails, and I felt frustrated, lost, and angry. Things that I had poured so much time and energy in, weren’t turing out as planned. At first I brushed it off, later it hit me and I broke down.
Why God? What are you doing? These became my questions throughout the week. Even though I was angry, I could also sense him doing something in me. As I prayed and fasted this week, I could see something even more beautiful playing out. I had no idea what it was, I could just feel it.
Then, today was one of the best days in my life. It started out with Church. My Dad attended Church with my wife, my sister, and I for the first time ever. I have been praying for this day for over eight years. After becoming a christian and giving my life to him, I wanted this for my dad and my family more than anything.
Growing up, my dad was a tough love kind of dad. Some of you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. He showed love by being tough. This was hard on me when I spent most of the time with him – it has affected me to this day.
When he thought he was showing love, he was really tearing me down and making me more insecure and depressed. It’s funny how you learn these things over time, right? I believe were all products of are past and how we are raised. I never told my dad how I felt until later in life after becoming more secure, and secure in Christ.
The timing wasn’t ever right. How could I hold something against him, when I had no idea how he was raised or what he went through growing up? How would it feel to have your dad leave when you were only nine years old? This is something I could not understand. All I could do was love him with all my heart, and pray that someday he would experience what I had experienced. I have continued to do this to this day.
When he showed up at Church today, my heart broke, my eyes swelled up, and I had no idea what to feel other than pure thankfulness. God worked in my dads heart, and carried him to Church today. For this I’m am very thankful.
A week that started out bad, ended with something so beautiful that it can only be explained in Christ. I guess we must take the good with the bad, because we cant’ have one without the other.